Please do not take up the offer from the de-facto law minister in parliament whereby he promised that you will be given protection through the Witness Protection Act (which is none-existent) by giving you a new identity and through cosmetic surgery, even a new face.

You might end up having to look like the characters shown below.

Important caveat: Facial hair is optional i.e. more and much more. New dwellings shall be provided at the Mulu Cave complex. Unlimited career opportunities (if you don’t scare off the locals and tourists). Lifetime supply of bananas, courtesy of the PKFZ Pisang Sdn Bhd. Clothing by KJ’s International MyClubwear (5% discount for new arrivals) and lastly, all marriages shall be ordained by an AAB Qwiky Marriage Sdn Bhd appointed Hadhari- compliant religious person (for a small fee, of course).

wpa-proposed-new-identities.jpg

P.S. No malice intended on the above characterizations to lovers of P.O.T.A.